Self as Context vs. Self as Content:Finding Perspective in the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Introduction

We all have a story about who we are. This story includes our memories, roles, personality traits,

strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and many other descriptions that we use to define

ourselves. While these stories can be helpful in navigating our lives, they can also become rigid

and limiting, trapping us in patterns that no longer serve us well.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we distinguish between two ways of

experiencing ourselves:

• Self as Content: The stories, labels, and judgments we use to define ourselves

• Self as Context: The observer perspective or "witnessing self" that can notice these

stories without being defined by them

This handout explores these two concepts, how they affect our psychological flexibility, and

provides practical strategies to help you develop a more flexible relationship with the stories you

tell about yourself.

Self as Content: When Our Stories Define Us

Self as content refers to the conceptualized self—the collection of thoughts, beliefs, memories,

and judgments about who we are. This includes:

• Labels we assign to ourselves ("I'm anxious," "I'm a perfectionist," "I'm shy")

• Life stories that define us ("I've always been the responsible one")

• Beliefs about our capabilities ("I can't handle criticism," "I'm good at problem-solving")

• Judgments about our worth ("I'm not good enough," "I'm better than others")

Examples of Self as Content:

• "I'm just not a creative person."

• "I've always been too sensitive."

• "I'm the kind of person who needs to be in control."

• "I've never been good at relationships."

• "I'm damaged from my childhood."When we fuse with these stories (treat them as absolute truths rather than as descriptions), we

experience self as content. This fusion can limit our behavioral options and create suffering.

Self as Context: The Observer Behind the Stories

Self as context refers to the perspective from which we can observe our own experiences,

including our self-stories. It's the "you" that notices your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and

memories without being defined by them. This observer perspective remains constant despite the

changing content of your experiences.

Self as context is like the sky that remains present regardless of the weather passing through it.

You may notice clouds, rain, or sunshine, but the sky itself remains unchanged.

From the perspective of self as context, you can say: "I notice I'm having the thought that I'm not

good enough" rather than "I'm not good enough."

This shift in perspective creates psychological space between you and your thoughts, allowing

for greater flexibility in how you respond to them.

How These Concepts Affect Psychological Flexibility

Psychological flexibility is the ability to contact the present moment fully, noticing your

thoughts and feelings without unhelpful defense, and persisting or changing behavior in the

service of your chosen values.

When trapped in self as content:

• You may avoid situations that threaten your self-concept

• Your behavior becomes rigid and rule-governed

• You make decisions based on protecting your identity rather than what truly matters to

you

• You resist experiences that don't fit with your self-concept

• You spend energy defending your self-story rather than living by your values

When operating from self as context:

• You can notice difficult thoughts about yourself without being defined by them

• You can act in ways that may contradict your self-concept if they align with your values

• You can hold your self-descriptions lightly and adapt to changing circumstances

• You can experience a sense of continuity and wholeness despite changing experiences

• You can make room for the full range of human experiences, both pleasant and

unpleasant

The Self-Amplifying Network: How Self as Content Creates Suffering

From a process-based perspective, becoming fused with self as content can create a self-

amplifying network of psychological suffering. Here's how this network typically functions:

• Fusion with self-content → You believe thoughts like "I'm broken" or "I'm a failure" as

literal truths

• Emotional reactivity → These negative self-judgments trigger difficult emotions like

shame, anxiety, or depression

• Avoidance behaviors → You avoid situations that might confirm these negative self-

judgments

• Selective attention → You notice evidence that confirms your negative self-stories while

ignoring contradictory evidence

• Rumination → You mentally rehearse these stories, strengthening the neural pathways

• Rigidity in behavior → Your actions become focused on protecting your self-concept

rather than living meaningfully

• Social withdrawal → You limit connections with others who might challenge your self-

concept

• Return to fusion → The cycle continues and strengthens over time

This creates a self-reinforcing cycle that becomes increasingly difficult to break. Each

component feeds back into the others, amplifying psychological inflexibility.

Example of a Self-Amplifying Network:

Maria sees herself as "socially awkward" (self as content). At a work gathering, she feels anxious

(emotional response) and barely speaks (avoidance behavior). She notices when others don't

approach her (selective attention) but misses when colleagues smile at her. Afterward, she thinks,

"See? I really am awkward. I shouldn't go to these events" (rumination). She declines future

invitations (behavioral rigidity) and spends more time alone (social withdrawal), which further

reinforces her belief that she's socially awkward (return to fusion).

Breaking the Cycle: Developing Self as Context

Developing self as context doesn't mean getting rid of your self-stories. Rather, it means holding

these stories more lightly and recognizing that you are more than any description of yourself.

Here are practical exercises to help develop self as context:

1. The Observer Exercise

Purpose: To experience yourself as the observer of your thoughts and feelings rather than being

defined by them.

Instructions:

1. Find a comfortable position and close your eyes if comfortable

2. Take a few deep breaths to center yourself

3. Notice any thoughts that arise without trying to change them ("I'm noticing the

thought...")

4. Notice any emotions present without trying to change them ("I'm noticing the feeling

of...")

5. Notice any physical sensations without trying to change them ("I'm noticing the sensation

of...")

6. Ask yourself: "Who is doing this noticing?"

7. Recognize that there is a part of you that can observe all these experiences without being

defined by them

8. Practice this perspective regularly, especially when caught in difficult self-judgments

2. The Chessboard Metaphor

Purpose: To visualize the distinction between self as context and self as content.

Instructions:

1. Imagine your thoughts, feelings, and self-judgments as chess pieces on a board

2. Notice how these pieces move around, sometimes in conflict with each other

3. Now consider: If these experiences are the chess pieces, who or what is the chessboard?

4. The chessboard (you as context) holds all these pieces without being any particular piece

5. Practice seeing yourself as the chessboard rather than the pieces when difficult self-

judgments arise

3. Cognitive-Defusion from Self-Labels

Purpose: To create distance from rigid self-descriptions.

Instructions:

1. Identify a troubling self-description (e.g., "I'm a failure")

2. Reframe it as "I'm having the thought that I'm a failure"

3. Try: "I notice I'm having the thought that I'm a failure"

4. Say the thought in a silly voice or very slowly

5. Thank your mind for the thought: "Thanks, mind, for that thought about me being a failure"

6. Imagine the thought written on a billboard or passing by on a train

7. Ask: "Is this thought helpful for living by my values right now?"

4. The Continuous You Exercise

Purpose: To connect with the continuity of self as context throughout your life.

Instructions:

1. Close your eyes and recall yourself as a young child (5-6 years old)

2. Notice that while your body, thoughts, and circumstances have changed dramatically, something about your conscious awareness has remained the same

3. Picture yourself at different ages and stages of life

4. Connect with the continuous "you" that has witnessed all these changes

5. Recognize that this observing self is not defined by any particular content of experience

5. Journaling with Distance

Purpose: To practice writing about yourself with psychological distance.

Instructions:

When journaling about difficult experiences, use language that creates space:

◦ "I'm noticing feelings of inadequacy" (vs. "I'm inadequate")

◦ "Part of me feels afraid" (vs. "I'm afraid")

◦ "I'm experiencing self-doubt right now" (vs. "I'm full of self-doubt")

Notice how this slight shift in language affects your relationship to these experiences

Applications in Daily Life

Learning to access self as context can be helpful in many situations:

During difficult emotions:

• "I notice I'm feeling anxious right now, and that's okay. The part of me that's noticing this

anxiety is not itself anxious."

When caught in self-criticism:

• "I'm having the thought that I messed up again. I notice how familiar this story is, but I

don't have to define myself by it."

When making challenging decisions:

• "What would I choose if I wasn't constrained by my story about being 'the responsible

one'?"

In relationships:

• "I notice I'm falling into my old pattern of seeing myself as 'the victim.' How might I

respond differently from a more spacious perspective?"

During life transitions:

• "While my roles, abilities, and circumstances are changing, the part of me that observes

these changes remains constant."Common Challenges and How to Address Them

Challenge #1: "I understand this intellectually but can't feel it."

• Solution: These exercises work through practice, not intellectual understanding. Start

with brief daily practices rather than waiting for a perfect experience.

Challenge #2: "I feel completely trapped in my self-story."

• Solution: Start by simply noticing that you feel trapped in the story. That noticing itself is

coming from self as context.

Challenge #3: "My negative self-judgments feel absolutely true."

• Solution: Ask yourself: "Has this judgment always been true throughout my entire life?

Will it always be true in the future?" This helps loosen the grip.

Challenge #4: "I lose the observer perspective in high-stress situations."

• Solution: Practice in low-stress situations first, then gradually apply in more challenging

contexts. Use reminders or cues in your environment.

Challenge #5: "I worry that letting go of my self-concept means I don't know who I am."

• Solution: You're not erasing your self-concept but holding it more lightly. Your values can

provide direction and meaning beyond rigid self-definitions.

Conclusion

Self as context provides a powerful perspective that allows you to hold your self-stories more

lightly. By developing this skill, you can:

• Experience greater psychological flexibility

• Make choices based on your values rather than protection of your self-concept

• Respond to life's challenges with openness and creativity

• Experience a deeper sense of connection with yourself and others

• Break free from limiting self-stories that no longer serve youRemember that developing self as context is an ongoing practice, not a destination. With regular

practice, you can gradually loosen the grip of limiting self-stories and live a richer, more

meaningful life aligned with your deepest values.

Resources for Further Exploration

Books:

• "The Confidence Gap" by Russ Harris

• "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Steven Hayes

• "A Liberated Mind" by Steven Hayes

• "The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety" by John Forsyth and Georg Eifert

Apps:

• ACT Coach

• Headspace (mindfulness exercises)

• Waking Up (mindfulness exercises with emphasis on the nature of self)

• Insight Timer (search for "self as context" meditations)

Websites:

• Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (www.contextualscience.org)

• WorkingWithACT.com (resources for ACT practitioners and clients)

Remember: The goal isn't to eliminate your self-stories but to hold them lightly and recognize

that you are more than any description of yourself. With practice, you can develop the freedom to

choose your actions based on what matters most to you rather than being constrained by limiting

self-definitions.